Worrisome Secrets
by NickyK
Summary: The Director has some worry issues. Story is better than the summary! First NCIS fic. Please be gentle!


Title: Worrisome Secrets

Author: NickyK

Show: NCIS

Pairing: Jibbs

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of NCIS. I receive not profit from this.

Summary: The Director is worried. Not much of a summary I know, sorry.

A/N: There are some really great Jibbs writers out there that have inspired me to try my hand at writing for the pair too. Please forgive any mistakes. I'm not an expert on the show by any means and hope to do the pair justice in my stories. Would love any constructive critism but please remember its my first NCIS fic so go easy on me:)

Director Jennifer Shepard had a secret. Well, that wasn't exactly true…Director Shepard had many secrets, being the head of a federal agency required it. Jenny Shepard; however, only had one.

She prided herself on her ability to keep things to herself. Even as a child, she'd learned that sometimes you didn't need to spill what you knew. So when she discovered where her parents hid the Christmas gifts, she never told a soul. That way the gifts were always hidden in the same place and she always knew ahead time what she got. And what she still needed to negotiate for.

Keeping with that philosophy had served her well into adulthood, hence her title. Keeping secrets meant that things would go her way, unless and until she decided that it no longer benefit her to keep them. Sometimes; however, even she knew, in dire situations, it became necessary to share your secret with one other person. But if Jenny's secret was revealed then it would most certainly affect Director Shepard. That was the problem.

The solution, she had discovered, was more secrecy. Now this was a little more risky. Not only did she have a secret but now had to involve someone else and create more secrecy to protect the current secret. Not to mention she had to be able to trust that person she was opening up too, to be able and willing to keep her secret in order to save one, if not both, of their careers.

So, Jenny had a secret, knew how to keep a secret but didn't always like it. And now Jenny was getting a headache.

As if she'd summoned him up, strong hands circled her shoulders, caressing and kneading the knots away through the thin material of her nightgown. Jenny didn't bother turning to see who had entered her bedroom unannounced. No one would dare touch her the way these hands were touching her except one person, Jethro, the confidant for all…well…most of her secrets. She fought the moan making its way through her body; the mind of Director Shepard unwilling to turn off as she wondered if anyone saw him enter her home this late. Would the security detail that remained with her always believe that he was here on business rather than pleasure? She groaned inwardly. Considering the late hour in which he left and the fact that, sometimes, he didn't leave at all, she doubted it.

Jenny sighed.

"You know, this would work a lot better if you let the Director rest for a while." His voice was close to her ear and she shivered.

Chuckling, she replied. "There has to be something wrong with the way we refer to me as two different people."

"You started it."

She could hear the slow lazy shrug in his voice and smiled. "Indeed I did."

His hands left her shoulders and she immediately missed the warmth. He came around and sat next to her on the bed, his hand snagging hers.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong, Director?"

She rolled her eyes at the use of her title and tried to pull her hand away but he held tight. "The Director," she said instead, putting emphasis on the word, "is worried that we're threading on thin ice," she said softly, turning her face toward him. Even before they'd begun a relationship there had been complaints that she showed favoritism towards Gibbs and was way too lenient with his team when it came to disciplinary actions. Though nothing had ever come of these complaints, they were still out there.

His gaze met hers, his expression serious. "The Director worries too much."

"Agent Gibbs doesn't worry enough," she replied softly.

When she'd first worked up the nerve to approach him about her "secret", she was inwardly relieved that he agreed with her to keep it quiet. She'd confessed to him that she had missed him too and wanted to give their relationship another chance, if he was willing. He'd made her wait, saying he needed to think about it. She'd been disappointed but understood. On the second day after her confession, when he'd still not done anything to give her any indication of what he'd decided, she called him into her office.

_"You wanted to see me, Director?"_

_"Yes," she said, all poised and professional. "Two days ago I asked you a question. As I have yet to receive an answer, I've decided to withdraw the question." _

_His eyes flashed angrily and he scowled. "Why? And get the Director out of here, I want Jenny."_

_"What?" Confusion shone in her eyes. "I'm right here, Jethro."_

_"No," he said fiercely, rounding her desk to stand in front of her. "the Director is right here. This isn't a decision for the Director. She was not the one who invited me to dinner and told me what I've been waiting to hear since you came back into my life. She will not be the one to take away my chance again!"_

_Despite the anger in his eyes and the harsh, clipped tone of his voice, she smiled softly. His words relaxed her. Her eyes softened and her tone gentled. "You want another chance with me?"_

"_Yeah, I do," he said quietly._

_She hit his shoulder, hard. "Why didn't you say something? I've been going crazy thinking I'd made a very foolish mistake."_

_He chuckle, rubbing his shoulder, all trace of anger gone. "Is that why you used the Director to back out on me?"_

_She ducked her head. "I thought you might not quite know how to let me down. I figured I would help you out, let you off the hook."_

_He put his finger under her chin, raising her eyes to his. "No can do, Jenny. You're not getting away from me again that easily." He said as he lowered his lips to hers._

Now as his eyes searched her face, she wondered what he was looking for. It had been a little over two months since that day in her office. Two months of sneaking around trying to be discreet; knowing every time they saw each other around NCIS the memory of their lovemaking the night before was forefront in their minds. Also knowing, they couldn't acknowledge it until the next night they could be together. It was quite frustrating.

For both of them.

He began rubbing her fingers, separating each one, massaging each digit until her entire hand tingled. Her breath caught and she felt the beginnings of arousal deep in her belly.

"Does the Director want to call it quits?"

The question startled her. She opened her mouth to protest, but the words stuck in her throat. The Director in her, the woman who stood to lose the respect she'd worked so hard to earn; the woman who worried about appearances and playing nice, certainly found it easier to call it quits. Jethro Gibbs was a distraction that the Director couldn't allow herself to afford. But Jenny, on the other hand, couldn't imagine walking away from this man again. Her heart literally ached at the prospect of never being with him. Jenny had no such qualms when it came to Jethro Gibbs.. He was exactly who she wanted, who she needed, and come hell or high water; she would not give him up.

She must have been silent for too long. Gibbs' brow furrowed and his eyes grew distant, losing their amusing spark as he looked at her. She felt his hand slip from hers.

"Answer me Jen, do you want to call it quits?"

She sighed. "Jen doesn't, but the Director…"

His face hardened as he interrupted her. "Dammit Jenny, you're one in the same. Either you want to be with me or you don't. You choose your career once; I guess it's become a pattern with you."

The comment stung. She jumped from the bed, her body tense with anger. "I know who I am Jethro. I don't need you to clarify that for me." She stood in front of him, her eyes blazing. "I was about to say the Director is still worried, Jethro. I'm worried. And with good reason," she hissed at him.

"Of course I want to be with you, you pigheaded dolt. Do you think it was easy to forget you when I left you in Paris ? Well it wasn't but I stand by my decision. It was the best thing for me at that time. But it's in the past and I can't change it nor will I dwell on it. And now- now that I have you again, I want that same freedom we had in Paris , yet it's not that simple. Our actions are monitored because of my position and I hate that. I hate having to watch myself around you, what I say and how I say it and whether or not it can be seen as favoritism. I hate wondering if my actions are being misinterpreted, ready to use against me. And you," she yelled, jabbing him in the chest, "you're no help. You come to me all charming and sexy, saying my name in that way that you know… you know…makes me want to just jump you! How am I supposed to remain professional with that in my face? Huh? So forgive me, Jethro Gibbs, if I'm not finding it particularly easy to love you!" she finished, fury radiating from every inch of her as she paced away from him.

Jethro felt his mood lift the more she ranted. He had to admit he loved watching her like this, all fired up, eyes blazing, chest heaving--especially the chest heaving part. He smirked and she frowned.

"What are you smiling about?" Her temper was still flared up, ready for another round.

He walked closer, snagging her arm and pulling her to him. She tried to resist, not wanting to let go of her anger just yet. But it was Jethro, resisting him did her little good.

"So, Jen…you love me?" His voice was teasing as he slipped his arms around her.

Her eyes snapped up to his and she raised her chin defiantly. "So what if I do?"

The words were spoken as a challenge, daring him to respond in kind or mock her feelings in any way. Now that the words were out she didn't feel as confident as she would like him to believe. It had taken her days to work up the nerve to go to him and let him in on her "secret". They were barely getting used to being in a relationship again. They hadn't gotten round to the heavier stuff yet. She did love Jethro, she had no doubts about that, she just hadn't planned on telling him in quite that way.

He saw the uncertainty in her eyes and understood the reason for it. His eyes studied hers for a moment before moving down to her lips. Jenny trembled and she knew it had nothing to do with her previous burst of anger. Gibbs ran his hand down the length of her back, along her spine and she took a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing, Jethro?" Her temper had deflated as quickly as it sparked and her voice sounded a little more breathier than she would have liked.

He smirked. "You think I'm charming and sexy too, huh?"

She rolled her eyes, bringing her hands up to rest on his chest. Their eyes met. "I'm not feeding your ego no more than I already have, Jethro."

"You know, I think I like when you say my name like that…all low and soft."

His hands were still moving along her spine, creeping their way up toward the back of neck in gentle touches. He leaned forward, moving his face close to hers. "You think," he whispered in her ear, his breath warm against her face, "I can get you to say it again?" His lips kissed the side of her face, tracing a path down to neck and round to her shoulder.

Jenny was having a hard time breathing, let alone speaking. His hand captured her breast and she gasped.

"What was that Jen? I couldn't quite hear you?" He kissed the hollow in her neck, licking it before moving his mouth back up her cheek to her ear, capturing the delicate lobe between his teeth, tugging gently. His hands busied themselves digesting her of her nightgown.

"Jethro…" she moaned, grinding herself into him, feeling her body respond to his slow seduction. Her fist knotted in his shirt, trying to get closer, ripping it open when the buttons didn't cooperate, desperate to feel his skin against hers.

"I guess this means the Director is no longer worried?"

"Shut up, Jethro," she muttered, moving them closer to her bed.

"Can I say just one more thing?"

"Gibbs…" she warned.

"I love you too," he said in her ear as he lowered her to the bed, his lips capturing hers in a passionate kiss.


End file.
